Everyone have there own capacity of boundaries and indeed also a line that crosses what’s consider “worthy” and what’s not.  During the times when we are happily (for most at least) occuplied with someone for us to call “our own,” ultimately we want the best for them. At that moment, they are consider worthy for our effort to make the most out of them but what about those times when they no longer choose to be with us? Are they no longer worthy for our love and compassion? Would the past effort be just another remorse of regret, per se waste of time and of our emotion?

Looking back I have once wrote to an ex-boyfriend:
I don’t mind the tears I had shed for you, or even the pain you had cause; what tormented me so much was the way you had put my suffer so worthlessly. Make my pain, your gain and within that, I am satisfied because then my pain can be shed with a purpose, a worth.

Before me he was nothing but an ordinary glass, out of me he became a wanted jewel, an attractive diamond i no longer obtained. I am very elated for his changed as a friend, as someone who had once cared for him but at the same time, a disappointment resents in me. Not because of the loss that I no longer had, but the “timing” where as, I wished he was the changed man when he was with me.

Just yesterday one of my girlfriends shared with me a news she acquired from school recently — the strange obsession of Dr. Carl Von Cosel.  Taken back to the 30s, Dr. Carl Von Cosel fell in love with one of his patients named Elena Hoyos. Believed that fate had brought them together he attempted to woo her in marriage. However, following the unfately rejection, he found himself instead mourning her death just a few months past her young age of twenty-two.
Now the love he had possessed for her was far greater than anyone could’ve imagined — at least for me anyways.  Even as her body was beginning to rot away, he secretly removed it and brought it back to his bed where he put on her a wedding gown and began to intimately reunite with his “unwedded bride.”

For more information, check out:
http://www.voltini.com/id43.htm
http://www.hbo.com/autopsy/episode/episode_6_the_strange_obsession_of_dr_carl_von_cosel.html

Was this a proclaim act of the undeniable love Dr. Cosel had for her or an obsessive sexual abuse of insanity?
Note: After a thorough examination, pychiatrists declared him sane.

I have always thought a relationship without love is pointless because then there would undeniably be an end.  What I did not know is that I’ll be a hypocrite in the near future. Sometimes I would blame myself for the decisions I had made where my disappointments comes from the expectations that society had misled me and probably you as well.  Chick flicks like Legally Blonde, The Notebook or a more recent one Just Like Heaven always have the main characters get together in the end, in *love*.  But in reality, how often does that actually happened?

Have you ever been in love?
How did it feel and more importantly how did you know?

“Goodnight dear,” as soon as he had said it, blandly in his own adorable way he quietly yet quickly fell asleep.  Once again, we have forgotten to close the bedrooom window and like usual as the wind gently blows, a strand of my hair lifted as the coolness of my forehead rushes within the wet spot slowly drying where he had just kissed.  Staring idlely mesmerized by the rythum of his heartbeat as his body slowly rises up and down, dumbfounded, I realize (maybe I had knew before scared within my self-denial) that this man who had just made me smile, the man sleeping right besides me and I, would never have a future together, never.

Should I continue being in a relationship knowing that there is no future?
At the end would you?