Nothing about the Chinese language is more difficult than pronouncing the syllables with the correct pitch. For a single syllable, seven different pitches in tones are possible, all of which could have non-related meanings. For example, the syllable “tong” in one pitch would mean “chinese” but in another pitch, “to butcher.” Another example: the syllable “sic” dependent on pitch could mean “to know” or “to eat.”

And so, one english missionary learns this the hard way during his missionary work in china. He would go village to village speaking to the locals in chinese,

“I like chinese people, and I want to know you all.”

And for all of heaven’s sake he could not figure out why every man, woman and child in every village would always scream on top of their lungs and scram in all four directions as if hell is upon them.

I wish I had made this one up myself, but no… I must give mad propz to the pastor I heard this from.

From my last post, Hing replied “Why forget the past? Use the past to better the present…”

There is a misunderstanding because I do believe that the past is a major factor to who I am today. The thing is, you see, we can not control what we forget or what we do not. It’s a natural process. But the past belongs to the past and what we can grasp is now and the future that holds in front of us.

Life is filled with many unknowns, until then be ready.
Though surprises can be good sometimes… sometimes. hehe.

All living things have one thing in common; we all walk the road of life. Though the thing is, everyone have their own path - their own journey. Life consists with many factors but one thing is for sure, it always leave us with a little gift we like to call “the past.”

I have just ponder across a new resolution where my life stands only at this moment, right here and now. I too, have a thing called past. Within it fills memories of happiness yet also my shared of sadness. On somedays when the painful tears flashes back, my heart suffers as much as it had in the first place.

Today as I was cleaning, I ran through some things from my past. Old entries that had once broke my heart. I have already forgotten much of these sad events if I had not stumble upon my old diary - through time anything can be diminish. This is why right now, my life defines the present.

Is it one of God’s gift of the capability to forget?

I have been to my church for six years and the first day merely seems like yesterday. There have been many wonderful experiences, meeting a bunch of awesome people, yet church and the people from church are not perfect also. Maturing a little too early, I had my share of gossips and rumors throughout the years but the amazing thing is, the really amazing thing is I have been gosssiped around from christians of all ages.

My best friend and I had always resented the church-borned teenagers, not so much because of their biased words and rumors, but more over their “innocent” for being born in church and having parents in church also. Somehow I was never capable to fit in with the other teens. Over the years, the distant only grew further apart.

The friendship between my best friend and I were formed with one similarity - We have always been ourselves. There were so many times when we had been disappointed as we watch our church friends acting innocent knowing very well all the things that they were guilty of. We just couldn’t comprehend all the acts and pretenders; We constantly ask ourselves, why can’t they just be themselves? Yet we have never accomplished an answer.

Now I know, now I know why. I don’t think any one of them intentionally try to pretend to be someone whom they were not. They laugh when there is something funny, they smile when they are happy, cry when they are sad, and praise God with all their heart. At least most of them. So how can I still accused them with false acts when there was none. I believe that the distant between the rest and I, were the secrets- their life outside the church. But who doesn’t have secrets? We all are just human after all.

To them, I am most likely “their” pretenders.

A must read!
Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz

I was really in love with the Honeymoon by James Patterson but Dean Koontz has swept the floor. Absolutely amazing. With all the sci-fi he always write, I never knew he could have also shared such a humour.

“Prepare to be enchanted.”

Whoopy! Ruthy gets her computer and cell phone in the hit TV show 7th Heaven after her little persuasive talk about being “normal” and how everyone else has it, and it’s true. Though I do agree that the term normal is so overrated.

Everyone has a computer and apparently even junior high school students are obtaining the power of the hand-on wireless I get to talk to you wherever-I-want cell phone. Indeed these high-tech products have enhanced our lives in many ways though it became so involve with our lives that it seems we could no longer live without it. Just imagine one day without your computer nor your phone, scary isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong now, I love my computer and my trust-worthy internet access, God bless Earthlink but such love can only go so far. We are the ones who runs and control our computer yet it seems its overrunning us. There are people out there who spends their time on their computer 24/7. Even my best friend’s ten year old little sister can’t detach herself from the screen with Neopets and Maple Story. For the older kids, it would be Starcraft and Counter-Strike or whatever other games out there that I obviously have no idea about.

Who are you? You or just another person define by how many hours they are on on their computer? In the start of the 21st century, we have lost the essence of the incredible warmth being with one another. Yes we have acheived alot wtih our handy dandy cpu but sadly we have lost the purpose, the joy it brings having the company of others.

Are you going to continue this reckless time-consuming addiction?
I’m not.

There were so many times I have been hurt, disappointed and confused when someone whom I love very much, never seems to care. Today I was in the same situation again, though this time I was not the victim. My brother had been going through some rough times lately and seemingly I was unable to be there for him. More so, I do not know how.

I have always insisted that when you love someone, naturally you would have a desire to care for them and be there for them. I was wrong. I know I care about my brother but why am I still the way that I am? Luckily I do have an answer.

I remember about a year ago when I was watching the news on channel 11, strangely my mother had not come home yet. A bit worry I called her work place, no one picked up. To my benefit, her work place was only a couple of blocks away. Constantly calling, about three blocks she finally picked up!! What a relief. That was the moment I knew I love my mom. Even so, a week ago due to some stress at work my mother cried out to me. I care so much about her yet at that moment I really didn’t want to hear it.

I love my mom yet because of my own personal problems it caused me to block out my surroundings and to the people whom I truely care about. This is not an excuse because I am guilty, guilty for my neglections.

Was there ever a time when someone you love seems like they don’t care about you?Was there even the slightest doubt that they do not love you anymore?
If so, think again maybe they do. Because like me…
I am not guilty for not loving my mother because I do, instead I am guilty for my selfishness.

As I was watching an old anime today, Hikaru No Go, one of the main characters Sai concluded his own existance. He is a ghost who only Hikaru, another main character is capable to interact with. Long before Hikaru, there was another person named Shuusake which was enable the same powers. Shuusake’s main purpose of life existed solely for the sake of Sai and in the other hand, Sai’s main purpose of life existed solely for Hikaru.

If our life is merely an existant for another, then who am I living for? Why am I brought here in this time and age? And you, why are you here? What brought you here in the presence of my blog and thoughts, for as much as it is for you, I maybe more too is here for my desolated comtemplation?

Throughout most of my relationships they have all said one thing in common, I have high expectations that they cannot meet. Usually, I’ll move on and blame it on the fact that I’m a women yet today I have begun to realize that men are just the same. It is in our human nature to have a higher expectation when we are led to a higher level, whether in love, life or everything in between.

I used to have an ex-boyfriend who cannot take a joke. He would always take it the wrong way like I’m purposely trying to get him pissed off but me being the bigger person that I am, would usually apologize and drop the subject. I never really understood why he took my jokes so seriously especially when I have always been like this, before and after we dated. Now I know; as a friend I have no obligations whatsoever of what I say in consideration but once I became his girlfriend, he expected me to respect him as my boyfriend. I was no longer who I am but what I’m suppose to be in his perspective. I cannot blame him because I too had my shared of expectations.

Do you think it’s okay to have expectations even though it’s inevitable?
If so, where do we draw the line when it comes to expectations?

Last week I had many dreams, though the strange thing was I was dreaming about the same person for four nights in a row - my ex-boyfriend known in my entry Worth. I woke up in fear, really. In fear that I might still be indwell in what used to be known as us. Truely I really had liked him alot, enough to even think about marrying him but now it’s a different story. What made it even more difficult was the fact that I see him at least five times a week, FIVE TIMES (We actually work together), fustrated and confuse with something I don’t even know what I should be confuse about in the first place. Ah, the wonders.

Three days I ago I dreamt about my current “boyfriend” and just yesterday I dreamt about another ex-boyfriend. Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m not another psychotic sex maniac online, actually none of my dreams were anything sexual (I was surprise too, hehe) but it has given me a sense of comfort I haven’t had in awhile.

What I really wanted to say was that alot of times our mind tends to play games with us. After we analyze everything at our best, we tend to simplify down to what’s “unknown” to us. In most cases as myself, we filled them with what I like to call *imagination* and others may sometimes call it as “assumptions“, but alot of times I heard it being called “accusations.” I have come to my senses to learn just how to wait and see, I’m still living with the unknowns so what makes me think I can’t live without it? There isn’t an answer to everything, but if there is, there’s a huge possiblity you wouldn’t even understand.

Life is short live a little.